Can a "real man" be artistic?

Fascinating article by Ricky Chelette, from Living Hope Ministries.

Real men: rough and tumble males who are interested in full contact sports with wounds that are still visible when they are forty. But where do we get such a narrow view of what it means to be a man? Can artistic men be real men? Ask a boy in grammar or middle school and the answer is a resounding NO! In our modern American culture, young boys are rarely encouraged to pursue the arts and are expected to be what our world calls "real men."

Granted, throughout history there are always more men needed to build the walls, the castles, the homes and the cathedrals than men to decorate them. But what would any of those structures be if not for the artistic men who designed them, captured the beauty and grandeur of God's created splendor, and transferred that splendor onto walls and ceilings and sculptures grand and small? And what would life be like without the melodies, the dancing and acting of those whose movements and melodies can soothe the savage heart or help lift the soul to the very presence of the Father? Real men are tough, but they are also artistic, gifted, and sensitive!

Can you imagine a world without beauty? Can you imagine a world without music, art, or dance? Before the foundations of the world the Lord designed into the hearts of man the gifts that allow men and women to be artisans. Some would hear the sounds in a meadow and form them into a beautiful melody. Some would see the setting of the sun or flowers blooming in a field and capture the beauty and majesty of those colors in a painting. Others would watch the wind-tossed trees and plants bending to and fro to the rhythm of an incoming storm and mimic those movements in effortless dance. In each instance, they would capture something of the beauty and mystery of our created world and express them in creative ways that echoed and amplified the magnificence of our Creator.

Artistic men = real men. Our world often looks at them with a great amount of contempt, especially when they are young. But where would our world be without them?

In His infinite wisdom, God gifted some men with particular gifts to express his beauty, melody, order and movement in the world. In Exodus 35:30-35 we read,

30 Then Moses said to the Israelites, "See, the LORD has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, 31 and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts- 32 to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, 33 to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic craftsmanship. 34 And he has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others. 35 He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as craftsmen, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers--all of them master craftsmen and designers.

And we also see David, one who could be considered a "man's man" in one camp -- killing giants (1 Sam. 17) and having many women (2 Sam. 5), -- yet musical (1 Sam. 16:23) and so expressive that he would dance before the Lord (2 Sam. 6:14).

The truth is that men are created in the image of God and an obvious part of that image is the creative aspect our Father imparted to us. I am convinced we are most manly when we are most creative; when we have an opportunity to express ourselves or create something that seemingly wasn't there before.

The problem artistic men face in our culture and in the church is that we have allowed the definition of a real man to be fashioned by some Hollywood caricature of invincible strength, stoic emotions and rampant hedonism. Such a definition is far removed from the creative Heavenly Fathers reflection and Biblical revelation.

In Genesis 2:19 we see the first man created by the Father and placed in the Garden of Eden. His first assignment is to go and name the animals God has created. The Word tells us that [God] brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

Real men are not defined by their ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, be the last man standing at the fight club, or experience grave heartache without ever shedding a tear. Real men, according to Gen. 2:19, reflect the beauty and glory of the Father by speaking truth into the chaos of life and giving it form and direction. Adam did just that for the creatures of the earth and that is what artistic men do when they see the beauty of God's creation and gather from it the colors, sounds, movements and images to recreate something that reflects the glory of the Father. It is a shame we have believed a lie from the devil about real men and relegated these gifted men to some lesser category, or some kind of less-than status. No wonder so many of these gifted and talented men, searching for a place to belong and be celebrated, are drawn to some alternative lifestyle. How sad. We are all living but one life -- the one given to us by the Father. There is no alternative. How sad that we would miss the beauty and contributions of our brothers who might not fit some narrow and distorted view of real men. We are the lesser for their exclusion and we are missing the beauty, the expression, the mystery that each of them was created to express within the body of Christ -- that gifting, designed by the Father, to cause all men and women not to praise the creature, but the Creator!

Instead of labeling these young men as different, special, sweet, precious, or gay, and solidifying their "other-than-ness," let us embrace them for the God-gifted and talented men they are. The Body of Christ needs these men to help us express and see the fullness of God. When they are missing among us, we are missing something of the Father.

Real men: They are masculine, truth speakers, emotional, problem solvers, artistic, courageous, expressive, dancers, fighters, lovers, warriors, musicians, hunters, artists, leaders, actors; strong, sensitive, and designed to beautifully and mysteriously reflect the glory of God in our broken and fallen world. Real men are not simply measured by their posing, but by their humble posture before the Father who they seek to reflect to all the world.

So when you see a young man who is expressive, sensitive, emotive, musical, artistic, etc., walk over to him and thank him for helping you see the glory of God in the beauty of creative expression. By affirming his giftedness you will bless a young soul and assure a bit more of God's beauty expressed through a real man!

Thin Places by Mary DeMuth

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I have a friend, Patrick DeMuth, who's wife Mary has written a powerful new memoir. Dynamic Dads recommends this new book.

9 year old boy commits suicide due to bullying

What a sad story from Dallas. Apparently, a 9 year-old boy has committed suicide and reports are emerging that he took his own life because he was being bullied. All Dynamic Dads need to warn their children about both the effects of bullying and being bullied. Schools should have a zero-tolerance regarding bullying. - Dr. Paul Pettit
******************************
By JANA MARTIN and ABIGAIL THATCHER ALLEN / The Dallas Morning News

Counselors will be on hand today at a Colony elementary school where a 9-year-old student died after apparently hanging himself in a bathroom.

A staff member at the school found Montana Lance of the Colony unconscious about 1 p.m. Thursday in the nurse's bathroom at Stewart’s Creek Elementary. No students saw the boy, school district spokeswoman Karen Permetti said.

Montana was taken to Baylor Medical Center at Carrollton, where he was pronounced dead, police said.

This morning, many parents dropping their children off at the school, in the 4400 block of Augusta Drive near North Colony Boulevard and Main Street, were unaware of the death.

Stephanie Rodriguez said a PTA meeting was canceled last night without explanation. She said the fourth-grader's death was hard to fathom.

"It's very sad," she said. "I just can't imagine why this happened."

Rodriguez, the PTA treasurer, said her 9-year-old son was so troubled by the incident that he had to sleep with her last night.

Permetti said a letter would be sent to parents today informing them of the death.

"This family is in our thoughts and prayers at this time with their grief," she said.

Students, parents and staff members at the school will have the chance to speak to grief counselors today and throughout next week.

Permetti said she was unaware whether Montana was a victim of bullying.

"Our district is extremely proactive in any bullying activity," she said. "We just don't tolerate that."

A life lesson for Sen. Scott Brown

Scott Brown is the new Senator from Massachusetts. His father and his grandfather were active Republicans. His father has said that young Scott became interested in running for political office in the mid 1960s while accompanying him on a campaign for state office; Scott Brown recalls holding campaign signs for his father.

Brown has said that he "didn't grow up with all the advantages in life" and that his working mother needed welfare benefits for a short time. During various periods of his childhood, Brown also lived with his grandparents and his aunt. Brown has stated that at the age of twelve he was brought before Judge Samuel Zoll in Salem, Massachusetts for shoplifting record albums.

Zoll asked Brown if his siblings would like seeing him play basketball in jail, and required him to write a 1500 word essay on the topic as his punishment. Brown said, "That was the last time I ever stole, the last time I ever thought about stealing... The other day I was at Staples, and something was in my cart that I didn’t pay for. I had to bring it back because.... I thought of Judge Zoll."

'Tweens book now in Spanish

Our book on Tweens (children 8 - 12) has now been published in Spanish.










Here is the link:

http://www.panoramaed.com.mx/libros/libro_final.php?bkid=1302

Shouldn't we all be using Tummy Tubs?

Wouldn't life be easier if we all used Tummy Tubs? The tagline for these ads is, "Nearly as nice as mommies tummy!"
Order yours today here:
www.tummytubusa.com

Sad, sad story from Indiana

Police: Dad leaves boy and goes into strip club

Tue Nov 24, 9:24 PM EST

A man was arrested after police said he left his 5-year-old son in a tractor-trailer while he ducked into an Indianapolis strip club to drink. The 39-year-old was arrested at 1:15 a.m. Tuesday on child neglect and public intoxication charges after calling police to report his truck stolen and his child missing. Police said the man was too drunk to remember where he had parked.

They found the boy inside watching cartoons on a television inside the cab. The keys were in the ignition, and the doors were unlocked.

Police said the suspect put his son in jeopardy by leaving him exposed in a high crime area.

The man was taken to the Marion County jail, where his wife picked up him and the child.

GPS tracking device for your kids

'Little Buddy' GPS device keeps tabs on your child

See:
http://tiny.cc/56VJe

Best Buy is selling a transmitting device that lets parents keep track of their children. Parents can place the device in a child's backpack or lunch box, for example.
The "Little Buddy Child Tracker" retails for $100 (far less than other devices that sell for $200 to $500). It combines global satellite positioning and cellular technology to signal the child's whereabouts to a computer or smartphone.
Parents can program the device to set up specific times and locations where the child is supposed to be -- in school or at home, for example -- and the device sends a text message if the child leaves the site in that time.
The device immediately drew angry writeups from some techies, who called it a reason for children to run away from home.

Hat tip: Sandra Guy

Inspiration for the Audio Drama Screwtape

I encourage all fathers to listen to this amazing audio drama on Halloween night with their children or family.

See here for more info:

Inspiration for the Audio Drama

The British author/theologian C.S. Lewis was a brilliant thinker and writer, your family will love it!

A forgiving dad

Everyone's talking about Phillies fan Steve Monforto who was patient and kind with his little daughter, Emily. Watch the video by clicking on the link below to see how this Dynamic Dad reacts to his young daughter's impulsive act...that's one forgiving father!
http://tinyurl.com/ral7jr

Here's how the AP wrote up the story:

Dad could not believe his good luck. Steve Monforto made a great grab, catching his first foul ball after years of going to Phillies games. He fist-bumped his buddies, high-fived his 3-year-old daughter and then handed her the prize. Big mistake. Little Emily threw the ball over the railing.
Stunned by his toddler's toss this week, all Pop could do was hug her.
"I didn't want her to think she did anything wrong," Monforto said on WIP-AM radio.
Philly crowds are known for being a tough bunch, but everyone at Citizens Bank Park cheered - first his catch, then his cuddle.
"This was the true reflection of what Philly fans are like," Bonnie Clark, the team's vice president of communications, said.
Cameras captured the scene of Monforto reaching over the railing and snagging Jayson Werth's foul in the fifth inning against Washington.
The video was displayed at the top of the Yahoo! Web page and made the NBC national news. The entire family is scheduled to appear on the "Today" show tomorrow.
Monforto and his daughter still went home with a baseball. A few of them, actually.
Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. and three team employees saw what happened and each grabbed a ball and went up to the stands.
"He was very appreciative," Phillies executive Mike Stiles said.

Fathers who are also inmates

Program helps inmates be fathers inside and out
BY JoANNE YOUNG / Lincoln Journal Star |

The trainers got their own chance in February to talk to each other about their fathers.

The men and women who would guide Nebraska inmates through classes in becoming better fathers twisted pipe cleaners to illustrate their father-son, father-daughter relationships.

They described fathers who hid their emotions in beer cans, who did the best they could but often failed, who worked dawn to dusk and met their children on their own terms.

One described his dad as a looming presence, and very unpredictable.

"He loved me, but often it was hard to tell," the man said. "It was always hard to tell which dad I was going to see."

A woman said her dad was a leaning post, who would listen to her concerns and embrace her issues without judgment.

Another man showed with his pipe cleaners how his relationship with his dad was tightly woven in his early years, but came unraveled when the child turned 13, after his mother died.

One by one, they pulled their words from bottomless places.

"This is stuff that goes deep," said Greg Austen, director of corrections programming with the National Fatherhood Initiative.

Austen was in Lincoln in February to lead training on the InsideOut Dad program for fathers in prison. Having trainers share their own stories was part of that.

"God doesn't waste pain," Austen said.

There is redemption in these stories.

Christian Heritage worked with the Nebraska Department of Corrections to offer the InsideOut Dad programs. Classes have been held now at five prisons in Lincoln, Omaha and Tecumseh. Another is scheduled for the Work Ethic Camp in McCook.

"It's been really exciting to have so many classes going," said Gregg Nicklas, co-CEO at Christian Heritage, "and to be able to attend some of the graduations and hear men talk about reconnecting with their families and the successes they're having, and how InsideOut Dad has helped."

InsideOut Dad, developed by the National Fatherhood Initiative, connects inmates to their families and prepares them for release. With that, they are more likely to embrace freedom and not return to prison, program officials say.

The program is open to any inmate, said Mary Alley, parenting program coordinator, but priority is given to fathers who have the potential to reunite with their families. Most will get out; the average length of time served in Nebraska prisons is two to three years.

InsideOut Dad helps inmates deal with their own father-son past. The 12-class program also covers fatherhood roles, masculinity, physical and mental health, spirituality, emotions, relationships, discipline and child development.

Inmates create a plan on fathering from inside prison and to reestablish ties to their children.

About half of the more than 4,000 males in the prison system are dads, Alley said. The hope is to offer the program this year to about 840 inmates, with connections to around 2,000 children.

Lester Wagner is father to two of those kids.

Wagner, 38, has been in prison 10 years and has another five to serve for manslaughter and use of a weapon to commit a felony.

He took the classes at the Nebraska State Penitentiary.

His two girls were 6 and 2 when he came to prison. Both live out of state now. He talks to the oldest, a teenager, regularly on the phone, but has had only the briefest of contact with the youngest.

The oldest has told her father she wants to visit him at the pen. He tells her to put that money toward her education instead.

Wagner learned from the class how powerful a father is in a child's life - good or bad. It taught him to open up to his daughter, to let her know he wanted her in his life. He talks to her a lot about school, he said.

Robert Brown has two sons and a daughter, is 26, and has been at the penitentiary two years for possessing a stolen gun. He is scheduled to get out in 2012.

One son is in Nebraska; the other two children live out of state.

Brown remembers being in and out of jail since he was 11 or 12. No one seemed to be around much to provide discipline when he was young, he said, and he did pretty much whatever he wanted.

It's hard now, he said, not to be around his own kids, to teach them not to make the mistakes he did, to show them he loves them.

"The hardest thing for me is to express my feelings," he said.

Recent statistics show 24 million children are growing up without their biological fathers. That's up from 8 million in 1960.

The absence of fathers shows up starkly in prisons.

Seven of 10 inmates grew up with abusive fathers, or didn't know their fathers.

A lot of single moms do an admirable job, Austen said, but there's no mistaking the positive influence of a good father.

A child needs to feel cared about, even by a dad who is locked away, he said.

"By and large," Austen said, "we want to send the message to dads about their irreplaceable role."

They often think a mother, a grandparent or a stepparent can replace them. But kids who grow up without their biological dads grow up with significant baggage, he said.

"There's a hole in their heart in the shape of dad."

North Texas Kids Radio Show

Click here to listen to Father's Day show

Fathers, sons, and homosexuality

Very interesting article from Warren Throckmorton, who teaches at Grove City College.

Fathers, sons and homosexuality

By Warren Throckmorton

The causes of homosexuality continue to both fascinate and divide people. Recently, in London, a conservative group of Anglicans, called the Anglican Mainstream hosted a conference to discuss the causes of homosexuality and promote change from gay to straight. Featured at the conference was American psychologist, Joseph Nicolosi. Dr. Nicolosi stirred much controversy when he said, without research support, that most of his clients show some degree of change in their sexual orientation.

Nicolosi's views regarding causes of homosexuality are also controversial. In response to a question about the existence of a gay gene, Nicolosi said:

In other words, that fact remains that if you traumatize a child in a particular way you will create a homosexual condition. If you do not traumatize a child, he will be heterosexual. If you do not traumatize a child in a particular way, he will be heterosexual. The nature of that trauma is an early attachment break during the bonding phase with the father.

In a popular book written with his wife, A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality, Nicolosi pegs the "crucial period" for bonding between father and son at "between one and a half to three years." Elsewhere, Nicolosi argues that fathers of homosexual sons are unavailable, detached and/or hostile. To fathers in London, he advised, "If you don't hug your sons, some other man will," suggesting that male homosexual attraction is a search for a father's love.

The father-deficit theory is considered outdated by mainstream sexuality researchers, but is popular among conservative Christians. This evangelical acceptance has always puzzled me because Nicolosi's statements regarding the origins of homosexuality can be discounted not only by research but by common experience. His theory is contradicted in at least two ways. The first way should be quite obvious to Nicolosi's audiences: there are many men who experienced poor fathering not only during the first six years of life but throughout childhood and are nonetheless, exclusively heterosexual.

Since many in Nicolosi's audiences are either unhappy with their homosexual attractions or do not know many secure gay people, the second problem might not be so clear. In contrast to Nicolosi's depictions of the typical family of gay males, many such men experienced loving, close relationships with their fathers throughout childhood with no break in attachment. Listen to one such father who spoke to me recently about his gay son.

When my son was 18 months to 3 years old (and on into childhood), we enjoyed a wonderfully close relationship. We explored the world behind the YMCA and called it travelling, looking for creatures in nooks and crannies. When it would snow, we bundled up and follow the same path. We hunted for snakes together in the creek, built a swamp world for various amphibians and generally loved each others' company. Wherever I was, there was my son; as my wife would say, we were like "Peel and Stick."

As he got older our relationship changed, but in a way that it should change. It matured into a friendship as father and son. After our son came out to us, our relationship did not change.

Does this sound like an uninvolved, detached father? This man's son concurs with his dad's assessment of the relationship. They were and are close, with no breaks during the period Nicolosi theorizes should cause homosexuality.

Devout Christians, the family attended conferences put on by conservative Christians who believed parental deficits were responsible for homosexuality. The answers they heard were very much like what Dr. Nicolosi promotes. These parents also took their son to a reparative therapist (i.e., counselor who holds to Nicolosi's theory) who evaluated the potential for sexual orientation change. The father reported that it wasn't helpful.

Not understanding the nature of his condition, we did take our son to a counselor. After several weeks of "therapy," our counselor told our son that he didn't know what to do. None of the stereotypes fit. Our son told his counselor that he had a wonderful and close relationship with his father and mom.

Although the parents maintain the traditional Christian, non-affirming view of homosexual behavior, parents and son have maintained their relationship. What they all do much less often now is become preoccupied over causes and self-blame. The father sees a bigger picture.

Dr. Nicolosi gets it wrong to reduce the thorns in our sides/lives to a human event where we have but one chance to get it right. Does that sound like the relationship we have with our heavenly Father? God has allowed all of us to experience thorns, some painfully obvious, others less so. No doubt the thorns God allows are refining our character and leading us back to Him.

In fact, sexual orientation is quite complex. Most likely, multiple pre-and post-natal factors are involved in different ways for different people. One size does not fit all. What this means for Christian groups, however, is the stuff of controversy. For some, it means that homosexuality should be affirmed and Scripture reframed. For others, it does not lead to a change of orthodoxy, but rather to greater humility regarding the need for spiritual support to live a different and often difficult calling. What is not needed is adoption of simple, but misleading, answers.

............

Warren Throckmorton, PhD is Associate Professor of Psychology and Fellow for Psychology and Public Policy at Grove City College (PA). He can be contacted through his blog at www.wthrockmorton.com.

Daisy Chain

Patrick DeMuth is a friend from seminary and church. His wife, Mary is a prolific author and writes about parenting and family issues. Recently, Chuck Colson highlighted Mary's new book entitled Daisy Chain.

Protecting the 'Least of These' from Abuse

By: Chuck Colson

Recently, I discussed the very disturbing topic of abuse in Christian homes. Overall, the feedback I received from listeners was very positive—many expressed their gratitude that we would speak about such a difficult but important issue. Others, however, were distinctly uncomfortable that we aired two commentaries on the subject.

I certainly didn’t set out to make anyone uncomfortable, and I definitely don’t want to sensationalize what is a painful subject. But at the same time, I believe we Christians do neither ourselves nor the cause of Christ any favors when we try to sweep bad behavior under the rug.

Every time we do this, the truth tends to come out anyway, and we always look worse for having tried to hide it. And, worst of all, in the process, we often fail to protect the “least of these”—the innocent victims who need our help.

Still, some ways of dealing with tough topics can be easier to handle than others. Sometimes we can learn as much about a topic through the arts—movies or theater or a good novel—as we can by reading a study or a newspaper. Mary DeMuth’s new novel, Daisy Chain, which is published by Zondervan, is a good example.

DeMuth is a Christian and an award-nominated novelist whose books often deal with issues of abuse. Yet at the same time, they intertwine themes of grace and hope. Daisy Chain tells the story of a young boy named Jed who’s struggling with both his best friend’s disappearance and his father’s abuse. On the surface, Jed’s father looks like the model pastor and family man. Only his wife and children know what happens at home when his rage spirals out of control.

DeMuth herself is a survivor of a different kind of abuse, having been molested as a child. Her goal in writing about abuse, she once said in an interview, is “to show folks two things: That God can heal even the most horrific abuse. And to educate parents and professionals about abuse.”

I’m not a big fan of “message” books, where the writer neglects his or her craft and just concentrates on pushing an agenda. But Mary DeMuth is not that kind of writer. Her books are beautifully and sensitively written, and her characters are realistic and well-developed. She has a true gift for showing how God’s light can penetrate even the darkest of situations, and start to turn lives around. Even her villains are not beyond the reach of God’s grace.

Perhaps one of the characters in Daisy Chain puts it best when she tells Jed, “Sometimes parents don’t act right. Sometimes . . . they flat-out do the wrong thing. If you let them wallow in that sin, don’t oppose it, you’re not really loving them, are you?”

I feel the same way. Ignoring the problem of abuse in Christian homes is failing to show God’s love to both abusers and victims.

If you want to learn more about a Christian perspective on the subject, visit BreakPoint.org and click on this commentary to find out how you can buy your own copy of Daisy Chain.

It may not be your typical light summer reading, but it might help change your whole perspective on Christians’ responsibility to the silent sufferers among us.

The effects of irresponsible fatherhood

Deadbeat dads leave moms,

children scrambling for shelter

Sunday, April 19, 2009
Shelbyville, Tennessee
Shelbyville Times-Gazette
Hat tip: Brian Mosely

Since the beginning of the year, the county's CROSS shelter has been taking in folks that don't have a roof over their heads and is currently at full capacity.

But two incidents over the past week have organizer Dr. Carl Bailey looking at getting with authorities about cracking down on deadbeat dads -- because their irresponsibility has resulted in three children sleeping at the shelter just in the past week.

"We are anticipating encouraging local authorities to work with us to determine where these fathers are that are just not helping out," he said.

Bailey said one woman had come to them several nights ago with a 11-year-old daughter and another woman had no choice but to stay at the shelter with two girls -- ages 3 and 6.

The woman with the pre-teen receives "everything they can" from public assistance, Bailey said, but the ex-husband "is apparently not in the picture at all."

"We're hoping to work with the right agencies in town to locate them and hold them accountable," Bailey said. He's hoping to help authorities with location information so that the fathers can be found and hopefully made to pay up.

"These men are fathering children and not taking care of them," Bailey said.

Lack of help

Bailey explained that the woman with the two youngsters has a husband in Murfreesboro who has made "several promises to help, but he never comes through."

For the past year, this family's landlord has come through for them instead, by allowing them to fall a year behind on their rent.

However, the senior citizen who allowed the family a place to stay at no cost is unable to do so any longer, and the three were forced to come to the CROSS shelter this past week.

The husband had promised to being the family a check so they could stay in their home a while longer, but he didn't, Bailey said.

"We're not trying to chase these guys down to pay us, we're trying to get them to take care of their kids," he said. "God knows what would have happened if there was no shelter to come to."

The three kids have been sleeping on mattresses on the floor of the shelter, Bailey said.

Needs more space

Even though the shelter has been open for just less than four months, Bailey is seeing more and more of these type situations with mothers left out in the cold with their young children, which creates another dilemma -- the shelter has a limited capability to take a family in.

"Right now, to put a family in a room in the small shelter we have, I have to put out six men or women," Bailey said. "And that just doesn't work for me."

As a result, CROSS is already looking for a larger place so family rooms can be designated.

"As the economy deteriorates ... we're going to see more and more of these families," Bailey explained. A main reason this happens is utility costs, which he says is the number two reason for losing your home nationwide.

Going to the mattresses

The shelter now has 24 bunks, doubling its previous capacity, and due to the contributions of "a very Christian business in town" the shelter will be getting mattresses to fit the bunks.

Bailey credits local dentist Dr. Jay Davis, former president of the men's club at First United Methodist Church, with asking that club to cover the costs of the mattresses.

Also, a local motel has donated sheets for the beds that had to be discarded due to company policy, but are still usable.

Group home needed

The shelter currently has a program that consists of training to help get people back on their feet and be able to support themselves again, but Bailey is now beginning to see that there are some that can not be helped by this program.

"There are many, many people that should not be outside of a group setting," he said.

One example is a boy and his sister that have come to stay at the shelter. While the brother is a fully functioning young adult, his sister, who is a year older, is the mental and emotional equivalent of a 10 year-old girl, "making her the perfect prey for other men" that may be in the shelter.

The parents are fugitives and the pair were put out in the street because the parents are running from the law, Bailey explained.

CROSS is hoping to find a larger piece of property so that a group home can be opened -- a permanent home for people "who really are not capable of dealing with the stresses of modern day living ... people that can lean on each other."

The most important thing is to find a couple "to be a mom and a dad," Bailey said.

Bailey has a strong faith, repeatedly saying that "God will provide," and in nearly all of the cases since the shelter has opened, that has apparently happened.

But the things that are provided must be undertaken by the hands of mortals, and each week beings new people to the shelter and a new challenge for CROSS.

"These stories just go on and on," Bailey said of the shelter residents.

Raising boys...

There really are significant differences between raising sons and daughters.

Wonderful advice from our colleagues over at Fathers.com...

Countless studies have shown that growing up with a father increases boys' school performance and decreases their risk of committing a crime and abusing drugs and alcohol. Here are eight more ways dads influence boys—whether they live in the home or stay involved on a regular basis.

1. Shape their identity. Boys look to fathers in their search for self. Without a father, boys have a harder time defining who they are and who they want to be. A boy's search for self starts with his father.
2. Help them belong. The need to belong to a family or tribe is a powerful force in boys. Having a father in the picture gives them this sense of alliance. Studies show that boys without fathers are more likely to join gangs—because they have to look outside the family for social acceptance.
3. Influence their values. Boys with fathers are more likely than their fatherless peers to have economic stability in the household. This gives them a sense of self-worth. There are other values fathers shape: work ethic, having a healthy relationship, and persevering.
4. Demonstrate character. Boys look up to their fathers and imitate what they see. Fathers can model good character traits like integrity, honesty, courage, restraint, fairness, foresight, and citizenship. When fathers are absent, boys look to celebrities, popular musicians, or sports figures for character cues.
5. Teach respect. A father who does not show up for his boy epitomizes disrespect. Present fathers, on the other hand, can actively teach respectful behaviors such as listening, trust, tolerance, politeness, and understanding limits.
6. Fill the void. Boys without fathers often feel as though there's something missing, which is why some fatherless boys turn to sex, pornography, violence, drugs, alcohol, or other self-destructive behaviors. Having a father helps boys feel complete.
7. Balance ideas about sex. Boys without fathers have a lot of unanswered questions about sex. A side effect is that they don't talk about sex and get the practical advice that would carry them into healthy, fulfilling relationships as men. Fathers can give practical advice about girls, sex, wet dreams, contraceptives, pregnancy, and other topics they are not likely to discuss with their moms.
8. Give them love. Boys who don't have involved fathers often view love as vulnerability, and trust as a bad thing. Fathers show boys that love means satisfaction and completeness.

Christian Book Expo in Dallas, Texas

http://www.christianbookexpo.com/golf/index.php
MARCH 19-22, 2009
Dallas Convention Center Texas

17th Annual GPA Invitational Golf Tournament
a day of golf at a world-class
course with authors, colleagues and Dallas leaders.



Considered American’s Greatest 18 holes!

Thursday, March 19, 2009 7:30 am Registration 7:55 am Devotions with Max Lucado 8:30 am Shotgun start Awards Luncheon to follow with lots of great prizes.

$300 individual; $1200 foursome

Horn Creek in Westcliffe, CO

Maroon Peak - July 11-18, 2009

Join like-minded Dynamic Dads and families
in Westcliffe, Colorado!! There are only two open
family spots left. Call Amanda Ware today:
(719) 783 2205

Click here for more info:

http://www.horncreek.org/?page_id=409

Speaker: Paul Pettit

Mountain Meadows

New book on formation

As parents, all of us are helping to form our child's character. Even if you are doing nothing, you are leaving a mark by your un-involvement. On the other hand, most of us are hands on and involved in shaping, molding, and framing our child's outlook on life. At the early stages of development no one, let me say that again, no one, has more influence than you. Later, around the 11 - 13 age range, friends will begin to have more influence than you. But parents have the most impact on young children. What are you doing to help form and shape your child's character, their outlook on life and the important decisions we all have to make on a daily basis? This book can help you keep parenting well. E-Release Announcing a new release from Kregel Academic & Professional NOW AVAILABLE! . . . or from your favorite bookseller! Review Copies & Interview Requests To request a review copy of Foundations of Spiritual Formation, or to arrange an interview with Paul Pettit, send a reply e-mail or contact Leslie Paladino at 1-800-733-2607 x245. Foundations of Spiritual Formation A Community Approach to Becoming Like Christ Edited by Paul Pettit Category: RELIGION / Christian Life / Spiritual Growth ISBN: 978-0-8254-3469-3 $22.99 paperback | 336 pages AUGUST 2008 (Available) Foundations of Spiritual Formation takes a unique approach to its subject, arguing that we become like Christ in the context of authentic, Christian community. Without undermining individual Bible study, private prayer, and meditation, the authors emphasize these pursuits for the purpose of both personal and community enrichment--that the whole body, as well as the individual, may be built up. Part 1 lays the foundations of spiritual formation. Jonathan Morrow develops a distinctively evangelical theology, while Richard Averbeck writes about worship. Then Gordon Johnston and Darrell Bock delve into the text of Scripture, grounding the pursuit of spiritual formation in revealed truth. Part 2 focuses on functional aspects of spiritual formation. Klaus Issler emphasizes the importance of the heart in spiritual formation, while Reid Kisling illustrates the vital connection between character development and spiritual formation. Bill Miller explores love's role as the motivation for spiritual formation. Andrew Seidel examines servant leadership, and George Hillman extends the discussion to include the significance of calling. Gail Seidel discusses personal narrative as a catalyst for spiritual formation, and in closing, Harry Shields advocates the public preaching of the Word as a tool for spiritual formation. About the Author . . . Dr. Paul Pettit is director of spiritual formation at Dallas Theological Seminary. He is also the author of Congratulations, You're Gonna Be a Dad; Congratulations, You've Got Tweens; and Dynamic Dads.

New organization for boys

Wonderful story over at The Meridian Star:

Navy Rear Admiral to kick off male ministry at West Mt. Moriah MBC today

By Ida Brown / senior staff writer

One of the Navy's 11 African-American Rear Admirals will help kickoff a local ministry aimed at young men.

Two-Star Rear Admiral Arthur J. Johnson Jr. will be the keynote speaker at today's launch of Challenge to Manhood, an empowerment initiative sponsored by West Mt. Moriah Missionary Baptist Church. A fellowship hour will precede the program.

Challenge to Manhood is a teaching/nurturing program geared to males ages 12-20. According to the Rev. Odell Hopkins, pastor, the idea was prompted from a similar ministry for girls presented at the church.

"After our presentation of Debs for Christ, we realized that a lot of attention is poured out to our girls – presenting them and making sure they are being taught and nurtured – and we looked around and discovered that we had equally that many young men in the church, from the ages of 12 to 20," Hopkins said. "And while these young men are involved in the church's ministries and activities, no one really focuses on their development at the same level as for the girls."

Hopkins and several West. Mt. Moriah's youth leaders decided to create such a program.

"We felt this was the time to grab hold to them – while their minds are supple, while we can do some things to help develop them to be young men who, first of all, in whom God would be pleased, that the community could use, and that we could help direct their future to success," he said. "It's not only a Biblical and religious move to another level, but also one that is the right thing to do culturally and socially."

Participants will complete a series of lessons, and from the lessons will move to a mentoring process. Each will be paired with an adult male member of the church who will serve as their mentor. Additional guidance will be provided by the older men of church, referred to as Pillars of Wisdom.

"So they (participants) will be challenged to learn life lessons from their mentor, and then learn at least one word of wisdom from their Pillar of Wisdom that will carry them through their life," Hopkins said.

The year-long self-improvement program will culminate with a Rites of Passage celebration.

Hopkins said Johnson was asked to help introduce the program because of his involvement with youth.

"He was at the christening of the SS New York and I watched him as he interacted with the people, specifically the young people. He has a real passion for young people," he said. "He also informed me that our area (Meridian) is not aware of scholarship money available through the U.S. Armed Services to help young people go to college, and special incentives to attend Ivy League schools. He said he wanted to raise local awareness to that funding."

Born in Burlington, Vt., Johnson attended the United States Naval Academy, graduating in May 1979 with a bachelor of science degree in international security affairs. Following an initial TAD assignment to Fighter Squadron 171, he entered flight training in Pensacola, Fla., and earned his Naval Aviator wings in February 1981.

Upon completion of flight training, Johnson was assigned to Training Squadron 3 as a flight instructor flying the T-34 aircraft. In May 1983, he completed his initial P-3 training at Patrol Squadron 31, NAS Moffett Field, Calif., and was assigned to Patrol Squadron 6, NAS Barbers Point, Hawaii, flying P-3B MOD aircraft. While attached to VP-6, he qualified as instructor pilot and mission commander, and completed three deployments to NAS Cubi Point, Republic of the Philippines.

Johnson is currently assigned to the Navy Marine Safety Center at Norfolk, Va. He is the son of Arthur Sr. and Delores Johnson of Meridian.

Challenge to Men is not limited members of West Mt. Moriah Missionary Baptist Church.

"We've included young men from other churches and encourage other ones in the community to participate. I think our mentors and Pillars of Wisdom have a lot to offer," Hopkins said.

Information

What: Kickoff of youth male

ministry Challenge to Men

When: Today. Fellowship hour, from 5 p.m.-6 p.m.; program to begin at 6 p.m.

Where: West Mt. Moriah

Missionary Baptist Church, 10530 Woods Road

Keynote speaker will be Two-Star Rear Admiral Arthur J. Johnson.

For more information: Contact The Rev. Odell Hopkins, pastor, at (601) 693-4967.