Stones of Remembrance: 34 years of marriage
by Paul Pettit
Like everyone else, we believers can be forgetful people. We especially can forget the many instances of God’s goodness to us. What to do?
Joshua 4: 4-9 records the command of Joshua for the Israelites to set up stones of remembrance.
“So, Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
So, the Israelites did as Joshua commanded them. They took twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, as the Lord had told Joshua; and they carried them over with them to their camp, where they put them down. Joshua set up the twelve stones that had been in the middle of the Jordan at the spot where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant had stood. And they are there to this day.”[i]
We all need stones of remembrance to help those who follow us to remember important spiritual events in our lives
We also need to set up stones of remembrance for our family and friends in order to recognize significant events where God has proven faithful. Recently my wife and I celebrated thirty-four years of marriage. You know the old jokes; “We’re celebrating thirty-four years of being married … and thirty years of being happily married!” Or “Somehow I’ve talked my wife into renewing my contract for one more year!”
Not every married couple enjoys years and years of wedded bliss. One guy told me he was married by the Justice of the Peace, but it should have been the Secretary of War! My wife gave me a funny card one anniversary that read, “Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband—just kidding — happy anniversary!”
Why are these stones of remembrance so important? Here are three critical reasons.
1) We need stones of remembrance to show our extended family and friends how God has been faithful
I love the old hymn which says, “…Morning by morning new mercies I see; all I have needed Thy hand hath provided: great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!”[ii] Marriage is difficult at times. Various pressures pull us in all directions. Selfishness gets in the way of putting the other first. We sometimes take it for granted our marriage will go the distance. Then we are alarmed when long-time friends announce they are splitting up. In fact, a newer phenomenon called gray divorce recently caught my eye. Gray divorce is a term used to describe the growing number of divorces among older couples, typically those over 50 years old. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) coined the term in a study published in 2004.
The divorce rate for couples over 50 has increased significantly since 1990. In 2019, 36% of divorces in the U.S. involved people over 50, up from 8% in 1970. The divorce rate for people over 65 has also more than tripled since 1990.[iii]
2) We need stones of remembrance to remind ourselves of our commitments.
My wife and I have a plaque from our wedding day with a quote and the date. I see it each time I enter my home study. Of course, I don’t always stop to deeply ponder the inscription … but sometimes I do. In Scripture, God takes vows seriously!
- “If a man vows a vow to the Lord or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”[iv]
- “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.”[v]
3) We need stones of remembrance because we are forgetful
I love the story about the senior golfer. At 92, his eyesight grew so poor he could hardly see his drive off the tee. Searching for a friend who could help he asked, “So you golf … and your eyesight is excellent, right?”
“Oh yeah, his new friend answered … I’ve got 20/20 vision!” Both men hit their drives. The man with poor eyesight confirmed, “You saw it all the way down, right?”
“Oh yeah, I saw it perfectly!” The two old men sauntered down the fairway reminiscing about the good old days. When they finally arrived near the green the man asked, “You saw my golf ball, right?
“Oh yeah, I saw it!”
Turning to his new friend he asked, “Then where is it?”
His newfound friend sheepishly replied, “I forgot!”
We need to be more mindful people. When I stood at the altar thirty-four years ago the promises and vows easily rolled off my tongue. I was more nervous than serious. And yet, as each October 13th rolls around, I’m reminded a) I need to purchase a gift and b) God has been faithful!
What stones of remembrance do you need to set up as a reminder of God’s goodness to you?
[i] Joshua 4:4-9 (NIV)
[ii] Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, Author: Thomas O. Chisholm (1923)
[iii] Shoichet, Catherine E. (2023-08-05). “More Baby Boomers are living alone. One reason why: ‘gray divorce'”. (CNN)
[iv] Numbers 30:2 (ESV)
[v] James 5:12 (ESV)
© Dr. Paul Pettit
